Essay: July 06
This contribution was send to us by Henry. He did a lot of research about his own preferences.
Fetish- A Festival of Life
by Henry
Theory about the Origin of Fetish- Celebrating Survival Where does the thing about boots come from? It seems, that everybody has a certain memory about boots in his childhood. My memory is a pair of boots of my older sister. Black leather boots, almost knee high, with a little stretch material on them. I put them on secretly and I was totally fascinated, that people can create such beautiful clothing. But why boots? The underwear of my sister did not interest me, I disliked pantyhose and I find anything made of rubber or patent disgusting. For others though, this became their fetish. My youngest theory (oh my god, I had a lot) bases on an idea from human biology: a white blood cell, which defends against viruses, is specialized on specific enemies.
They fit perfectly on the shell of the cell. When they are right on top of it, they destroy it. In the same manner, our soul chooses what to find attractive on a potential sexual partner. I think that there is an existing fascination on which other fitting parts attach. This way everybody gets a very complex and individual fetish. I like leather gloves, high boots, tight leather pants and women in leather skirts. The leather should be dark and shiny, the seams fine, the surface clean, the ambience elegant and so on. There are uncountable details.
Thanks for the boots!
When I took a closer look on what all those details have in common, I recognized that there is a certain combination of a surface, which stretches smoothly over a body part (fingers, thighs, feet) and wrinkles on certain spots (knuckles, wrist, ankle, knee). That works just with real leather. In patent or latex the "shine effect" is a little different and does not fit my preferences anymore.
It does not "link" and the stimulus is gone. I would like to call that "sense atoms". These atoms form everything I like until into the littlest detail. I saw the same thing on other fetishists. Then I searched my childhood -together with a therapist- for traumatic experiences. We discovered that I had a life threatening lung infection, when I was 3 years old. I had to go to hospital and I was separated from my mother for 2 weeks. The separation from a mother in that age, is an bad experience, it is called "interrupted toward movement". From my own experience I can say, that every person with a fetish or preference, has had such an experience.
When I was little, I was strongly afraid of a certain kind of black hoses.
I remember the pictures of pilots in jet fighters wearing breathing masks with a checkered hose. On the one hand it gave me the creeps, on the other I was completely fascinated. I have these pictures burned into my memory in high resolution. It probably refers to an experience with an oxygen mask in the hospital, where I was lying in fear for death without my mummy.
Maybe it is the shine, the strangulating effect or what so ever. Sounds complicated, but it appears plausible to me. I learned that all fetishists I have met, had some kind of near-death experiences in their childhood (some of them had to ask relatives, but it was always a strike!). My personal feeling towards leather was always that it is wonderful and "worth living" for. When you are close to death, the soul needs something to hold on to. A simple symbol for life in a crisis.
For me the meaning of leather is: Life! In second place it has something to do with sex, but which symbol is more vital and comes closer to the meaning of life, than sex! Anyway sex and death are relatives. In my family we had stillbirths, one abortion and a sudden death after birth. I met a man once, who was sexually, sadistic tortured when he was 10 through an older boy. Just through a miracle, he did not die in a long, cruel suffocation ritual.
And what kind of fetish did he develop? He likes women with veils. Our soul again does not work simple. It does not avoid things, that almost killed us. Because the threat is so near, the soul turns the enemy ritually into our ally, by putting these experiences into a complex network of erotic and life spending preferences. The veil is a soft memory to an horrifying event. But with a discreet trick it allows us to look at the black spot and to be happy about it.
A fetish is a festival of life. When I walk through the city in my boots, when I wear leather gloves or when I see beautiful women like Karina in her high boots, it is celebrating in me: Yes, I am alive! People like Karina know a piece of my wonderful secret and are celebrating with me. That is why it is a true pleasure to me, to send Karina gloves or those red overknees, to celebrate with me.
Congratulation to everybody, who made it here reading. I would love to know, if somebody can confirm my theory. I am convinced, that the "fetish" doesn't disappear, once you decoded it, but the dominating, addictive side does. That is important to me as I could not think about anything else than leather on some days. I found that disturbing sometimes.
The question for the origin of my preference was my big quest in my life. It was a very exciting adventure. If you would like to answer me, you can do that here over the studentsofboots or send me an e-mail directly to: HenryBaier@gmx.de.
Sincerely Yours
Henry
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